Is appearing mysterious as an educator a plus, a minus, or something in between?
I used to admire and respect the distance certain professors maintained between their professional and personal lives. It made sense to draw a strong boundary and keep them separate. It was admirably mysterious.
Later, I recognized that a firm boundary is impossible to maintain – and anyway, I enjoy developing real, meaningful teacher-student relationships, and if that means spending a couple hours at a coffee shop with a student in a crisis, then I don’t mind letting that boundary line shift to enable me to reach my students. (Also, my personal life is utterly boring; there’s nothing I’m afraid my students might learn.)
More recently, I’ve reflected on reducing how much I share – not because it’s invalid to share but because sharing about my life turns the conversation away from what I care most about – the growth and development of my students. If a story from my life helps illuminate something for a student, I’ll use it, but I’m perfectly happy to stay quiet to my students about the work I’m doing in other areas of my life: not because it isn’t important, but because it isn’t relevant to what I’m trying to accomplish.
If that’s interpreted as being mysterious, that’s fine. I think of it as being student-centered.