In June, I took a quick ride on the Big Shot at the top of the Las Vegas Stratopshere. The ride shot me and my son 160 up from the 921′ platform at the top of the tower at 45 mph.
Sounds like a thrill, no?
As a self-reflective introvert, I’ve often been told that I would love a thrill ride, and that I just needed to get over my fear and experience it. I remember a particularly insistent chaperone shepherding me, age 12, onto a roller coaster. As I expected, I didn’t enjoy it. The same well-intentioned but misguided encouragement came for many of the typical college coming-of-age experiences, though I successfully avoided those!
Lesson 1. These experiences have been a primary impetus for a teaching philosophy of respecting my students’ self-knowledge. It takes careful reading, sometimes, but you can learn to recognize the difference between a student who wants a solo but is so nervous to audition that she says she doesn’t, and a student who truly doesn’t want a solo. In my experience, many adults operate as if the second type of person doesn’t exist, and works hard to change their mind. The better I know my students as humans, the more I can recognize where to push and where to let go.
But wait – why ride this 1,000′ thrill ride if I know perfectly well I don’t like them.
Twenty years ago, in my early twenties, my new girlfriend loved rollercoasters, and I loved her. We took a day at the amusement park Cedar Point to see our friends performing in an a cappella show, but also to ride each of the 11 or 12 coasters at least once. Why? Why did I do this?
Easy. I wasn’t ever afraid of the rides – I was confident I would be safe. Thrill-seeking has just never been my preference. But I was happy to set aside my preferences to share an experience with someone I love. I had a wonderful day with my beloved, even if the rides themselves weren’t the highlight.
That, of course, is what got me on the ride on the Strat in June. My son loves thrill rides, and doing it with him gave him the chance to do it. That easily overrode my own preference. (I’m well aware that this outlook may well find me skydiving in a few years, alongside him…)
Lesson 2. You can have higher priorities than personal preference. When I default to my own personal preferences, it’s a good idea to take a step back and ask if my higher priorities would lead me to a different decision. The desires of the people I love, the effective teaching of my students, the protection of personal quiet time: these are all priorities that have caused me to change a decision away from a personal preference.