You need both of these approaches in your arsenal.
- Ask your students “What can we do better?” They will invariably list all sorts of things, big and small, that can be improved. That gives you the opportunity to both affirm their astute insights and contrast their insights with unequivocal praise for the things they did well.
- Ask your students “What went well?” You can share excitement over positives and bring attention to areas of growth.
Sometimes students need your affirmation – let them list the negatives. And sometimes they need you to be the bad guy, drawing their attention to what they may have failed to notice.
In both cases, what they need most of all is grand perspective. Take all the positives and all the negatives and help them zoom out to see the big picture of their performance in whatever event or project they’ve been working on.
My students are all complex thinkers – and so are yours. They just need guidance in what direction to point that thinking.