Putting Yourself First or Last

I tend to flip between two ways of ordering my to-do lists.

Method #1 is to put yourself first. Make sure those big projects you need to complete are at the top of your list, and don’t do anything until you do them.

Method #2 is to put yourself last. I am writing this after spending two hours on a Sunday night helping my son with trigonometry, and it’s not unusual for me to put off my own work until I’ve made sure everyone else has gotten what they need – everyone in my care, that is: family, students, friends…

It doesn’t seem possible to reconcile those two methods; I like it that way. If I worked completely in Method #1, I would be a terrible spouse, father, and friend. If I worked completely in Method #2, I’d have a hard time ever getting things done.

I think we need to balance the two to be successful, and we need to know which method we’re focusing on at any given time. As I worked on complex trigonometric puzzles, I knew I was putting off writing a couple hundred words for my website; knowing that I was prioritizing Method #2 made it easier to relax into that and not worry about getting the writing done. Conversely, when I have a tight deadline and music to create, I don’t worry at all about leaving dishes in the sink.

It’s not either/or. It’s both/and.