What do you say when a student asks if it’s okay if they miss the concert?
It’s not such a seldom occurrence that students find themselves double-booked, because they marked their calendar wrong, or didn’t mark their calendar at all, or had a personal or professional conflict come up.
For my part, if I add concerts after the start of the season, it’s with full discussion with the ensemble…I don’t commit to the concerts unless I have sufficient yeses from the ensemble, and give excused absences to anyone who knows they can’t attend at that time.
But if a student comes to me late in the year and asks “Is it okay if I miss” a concert that was scheduled before the audition, I might say something like this:
I appreciate you asking before you make a decision. I think it should be clear that I don’t have much ability to create any meaningful consequences for you missing the concert. It’s been on the schedule since you auditioned, and so the biggest consequence is not one I make – it’s letting down your fellow ensemble members. It wouldn’t be the first time someone has double booked themselves, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. (If you’re taking the ensemble for credit, there will be a grade reduction, but that’s not a significant consequence.)
The question is, are you OK missing the concert? If so, I accept your decision and just ask you take a minute in person to explain and apologize to the group for not being available for the performance.
Happy to continue to discuss and offer anything else I can.