I Don’t Want To Do This

I don’t want to write. I don’t want to practice. I don’t want to do the dishes, make bread, walk the dog.

I want to have done them.

I want to live in the future in which I’ve done those things. Because I like the outcomes brought about by doing those things.

When I’m feeling unmotivated, or simply tired, I try to focus just a little farther into the future.

Do I want to wake up tomorrow having snapped my streak? No, so I write. Do I want to let down my ensemble colleagues? No, so I practice. Do I want to clean old dirty dishes, feed my family factory-baked bread, or live with a dog with the zoomies? No, so I act.

The more time I spend thinking about what I want to have done yesterday, when tomorrow comes, the less I’m mired and the easier it is to start.