I should have listened more vigilantly to those recordings from my voice lessons.
Not because they would have helped make me a better singer – though surely they would have. No, I should have listened because I would have put in more hours towards egoless singing.
The self-protective ego can get in the way of public singing, because it doesn’t want anything that might shine negatively on itself. And hearing our own voices on recording is a reliably negative experience, because we sound so different from how we hear ourselves. Most of us never get past that ego block, and it keeps us from making the music, live and recorded, that we might otherwise make.
Egoless singing accepts our voices, as they are, and lets us find the joy in simply singing. Then, of course, we can critique and improve, but always with an appreciation for the underlying joy.
My friend Alice, when I studied with her a few summers ago, described her voice as small and unreliable. Her mentor, Shaw, didn’t have nice things to say about her singing, either. But she sings constantly, because it’s how she interacts with the world, and because she can sing egolessly – with appreciation for the voice she possesses and the opportunity to connect through it.
Jacob Collier has the same gift. I wouldn’t say he has the most beautiful instrument ever, but his massive musicality seems to be combined with a complete lack of ego around his voice – note his willingness to solo obscure takes in his recordings, to show how the finished track is built. I think, more than any other gift, it might be his egoless singing that allows him to create so effusively.
The good news is, we can all get there. We can learn to hear our voices for what they are, and with gratitude, rather than focus on what they aren’t, what they could be, or what is lacking. All we have to do is listen to ourselves without judgement.