I want to comfort anyone in pain. It’s not always the right call.
There are many, many times when comforting someone is the obvious right thing to do. Three examples where it isn’t.
- A person has experienced a devastating disappointment. They know they’ll have to get back up and do important work; but for a little while, they need to just sit with the pain. To them, comfort might feel like dismissing their feelings.
- A singer suffers an audition setback. When you give the bad news, they react strongly. But if you comfort them, it can undermine the trust they have in the decision you’ve made. In that moment, you must leave them alone so they can process without being confused. (Comfort can be interpreted as “so there’s still a chance if…”)
- You are directly responsible for the pain. It could be accidental. It could be you had a change of heart. Nevertheless, the person you heart doesn’t need your comfort, they need your apology.
There were a lot of people I wanted to comfort today. In some cases I did, and in some cases I waited.
Tomorrow there will be more. And after we’re comforted, we take action. We move forward.