“As much as our gatherings disappoint us, though, we tend to keep gathering in the same tired ways. Most of us remain on autopilot when we bring people together, following stale formulas, hoping that the chemistry of a good meeting, conference, or party will somehow take care of itself, that thrilling results will magically emerge from the usual staid inputs. It is almost always a vain hope.”
Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering, Introduction (x)
This series of posts is intended to encourage fellow choral gatherers to rethink some of the gatherings we regularly hold. I tend to think that choral leaders are among the best gatherers I know – they know how to engage, how to connect, and how to build community, because all are prerequisites for great choral singing. Even so, I think we also tend to “follow stale formulas” and cling to vain hopes of brilliance “emerging from the usual staid inputs.” We can always do better.
“We reduce the question of what to do with people to a question of what to do about things: PowerPoints, invitations, AV equipment, cutlery, refreshments. We are tempted to focus on the “stuff” of gatherings because we believe those are the only details we can control.”
Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering, Introduction (x-xi)
How much time do choral gatherers devote to the “‘stuff’ of gatherings”? The stuff of choral gatherings include repertoire, chairs and risers, seating charts, room acoustics, learning software, sound systems, and, yes, PowerPoints. While I spend time on all of these, Parker reminds us all that the primary focus is connection and creating a meaningful gathering will supersede any shortcomings in the stuff. As she says, focusing on the stuff is “both shortsighted and a misunderstanding about what actually makes a group connect and a gathering matter.” (xi)
“In all my gatherings, […] I have come to believe that it is the way a group is gathered that determines what happens and how successful it is.”
Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering, Introduction (xiii)
This is the crux of the argument. I believe that the most successful choral gatherers – that is, the most successful choral leaders, leading the most successful, sophisticated, artful choirs – are the ones who understand that the way they gather is more important than any rehearsal technique, vocal warmup, or repertoire selection.
Parker concludes her introduction with a selection of personal biases. I think they are compelling and important as a jumping-off point for thinking about reinventing gatherings.
I believe that everyone has the ability to gather well.
You don’t have to be an extrovert. In fact, some of the best gatherers I know suffer from social anxiety.
You don’t need to be a boss or a manager.
You don’t need a fancy house.
The art of gathering, fortunately, doesn’t rest on your charisma or the quality of your jokes. (I would be in trouble if it did.)
Gatherings crackle and flourish when real thought goes into them, when (often invisible) structure is baked into them, and when a host has the curiosity, willingness, and generosity of spirit to try.
Let’s begin.
Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering, Introduction (xiv)
Most of us haven’t had “regular” choral gatherings for a year and a half. That means, as we begin this school year/concert season, we have the opportunity to choose how we gather – to get rid of stale formulas and make our gatherings “crackle and flourish.” What a once-in-a-generation opportunity!
Yes, let’s begin.