Watch or read about leading chess players, and you’ll soon come to understand that they don’t need the board.
The real game of chess is happening in their head – where they can move pieces about, recall similar layouts from past games, and generally manipulate the game in ways you can’t physically do in a game.
That’s where you want to get with your music making. The scores you started with should be distantly in memory, and perhaps still referenced, but the real music is in your head, where the experience can be far richer than the black and white sheets of paper in your hand.
Richer, because it can be elastic in ways that printed music cannot. Just as chess masters can manipulate the board in their head, so can you manipulate the music.
I can’t play without the board in front of me, but I admire those who can…and anyone who’s achieved similar competence in their chosen expertise.