Don’t mix up demanding and demeaning.
Dr. Brené Brown’s new book, Strong Ground is about to come out, and that means she’s begun a new six-part podcast series discussing the book with Dr. Adam Grant.
In the first episode, Dr. Grant drops this brilliantly wise sentence in discussing leadership.
“So many leaders confuse being demanding with being demeaning.”
He goes on, “I see a lot of leaders who think, ‘okay, I have to be dough, I have to be hard charging, I need to create accountability.’ And they cross the line from demanding to demeaning.”
Brené Brown adds:
“The thing about demeaning leadership behavior is basically, I think, […] it’s about using fear to lead. And fear has a very short shelf-life. You’ve got to get meaner and meaner.”
Don’t cross from demanding excellence to demeaning individuals. It’s a one-way path to worsening leadership.
But conversely, don’t be so committed to avoiding demeaning the people you lead that you end up falling short of demanding excellence.