The third chapter of Dare To Lead is called “The Armory” (it’s the third of five sections in Part One, “Rumbling With Vulnerability”). In this chapter, Dr. Brown addresses the idea of wholeheartedness, and provides examples of sixteen types of armor leaders are seen to use in their leadership, and then offers the daring counterpoint.
This article will unpack the chapter, discuss its implications specifically for choral leaders, and then ask you the questions I’ve been asking myself as I read.
Wholeheartedness
Dr. Brown defines wholeheartedness as “engaging in or lives from a place of worthiness. It means courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what […] I am enough.” (72)
She goes on, “wholeheartedness is about integration. It’s integrating our thinking, feeling, and behavior. It’s putting down our armor.” (72) I can’t imagine a profession where this leadership style is more crucial than in choral leadership. The integration of thinking, feeling, and behavior is at the core of making a choral work come alive. As Dr. Brown says, “When we imprison the heart, we kill courage.” Courage is required to make music worth listening to.
Don’t Reward Armored Behavior
“In teams and organizations where heart and emotion, especially vulnerability, are seen as liabilities, the culture or in some cases individual leaders strike a bargain with our grifter egos to lock up the heart and seal off feelings. They reward armor like perfectionism, emotional stoicism, the false compartmentalizing of our lives and our work, keeping things easy and comfortable instead of embracing he necessary tough and awkward conversations, and they value all-knowing over always learning and staying curious.” (73)
Sound familiar? Too often, schools ask students to armor up and “behave.” Dr. Brown’s research is clear – this armor inhibits growth, creativity, and learning of all of us, including our students. So in addition to avoiding armored leadership, we have to be sure we aren’t rewarding armored behavior in our students.
We Are Here to Become More and More Ourselves
Dr. Brown shares this quote from Jungian analyst Jim Hollis on page 74. She says, “Ego is an eager and willing conspirator when it comes to locking away the heart” (74) and later adds that “protecting our ego and fitting in is why we reach for armor in situations where we think being liked or respected is at risk because we may be wrong, or not have all of the answers, or might get in over our heads and not look smart enough.” (75)
Thinking of the ego as a “thin wafer of consciousness floating on an iridescent ocean called the soul” (74) might help in seeing the value in not over-valuing its perspective. The ego’s desire for gold stars and self-protection can certainly get in the way of creative growth and musical risk-taking. The quote at the top of the section is a perfect motto to carry into the choral classroom – when we are able to set ego aside and access the deep ocean of soul, we can make amazing music and watch every student – 12 or 24 or 100 in a choir – slowly become more and more themselves.
No Space For Shame and Blame
“If shame and blame is the management style, or if it’s a pervasive cultural norm, we can’t ask people to be vulnerable or brave.” (116)
There it is in one sentence. If you want your choirs to be vulnerable and brave in their music-making and in their approach to their own lives, you cannot shame and blame your students. I have sung in choirs where shame and blame was the choral leadership style, and I can confirm that vulnerability and bravery did not enter into the music-making process. I don’t relish those memories, and I hope never to repeat them in my own choral leadership.
The Armory
Dr. Brown’s armory contains sixteen armored leadership tools and sixteen matching daring leadership approaches. Each choral leader is going to recognize different pieces as belonging to their own armory, but I will highlight daring leadership approaches that seem particularly applicable to all choral leaders.
#6 – Hiding Behind Cynicism / Modeling Clarity, Kindness, and Hope.
Dr. Brown says that “cynicism and sarcasm often make anger, fear, feelings of inadequacy, and even despair.” (93) Now, there’s a way to use sarcasm as a choral leader without leaning into armored leadership, but it’s a tricky needle to thread. Dr. Brown says that the antidote is “cultivating hope,” and defines hope with three parts: “goal, pathway, and agency.” (93) It seems vital as a choral leader to offer this tangible hope to our students by providing those three elements.
#2 – Working From Scarcity and Squandering Opportunities for Joy and Recognition / Practicing Gratitude and Celebrating Milestones and Victories
Dr. Brown says that “joy is the most vulnerable emotion we feel” (81) and that our reaction is often to “start planning on being hurt. We start planning to deal with the fear of disappointment.” (82) This catastrophizing can show up as being hesitant to celebrate victories and by withholding recognition. But Dr. Brown has found that “recognition has emerged from our daring leaderships data as essential to developing brave leaders and courageous cultures.” (84) She models this approach that I think is very applicable to the high-risk experiences a choir can give students: “We’ve got to stop and celebrate one another and our victories, no matter how small. Yes, there’s more work to be done, […] but that will never take away from the fact that we need to celebrate an accomplishment right now.” (84) In my own experience, students are exceedingly well-armored here, preferring to be hyper-critical of any shortcomings and often being harsher critics than their adjudicators. Modeling healthy striving alongside this gratitude/celebration mindset seems strongly warranted.
#12 – Rewarding Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Attaching Productivity to Self-Worth / Modeling and Supporting Rest, Play, and Recovery
You knew I was going to pick this one, didn’t you? She practically has a picture of a choral leader in this section. As she says, “When worthiness is a function of productivity, we lose the ability to pump the brakes.” (105) In her daring counterpoint, she says “If we want to live a life of meaning and contribution, we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play” (106) and later adds “Leaders need to model appropriate boundaries.” (106) It’s hard to see yourself in that mirror, but the good news is that when you let yourself look, you’ll see yourself surrounded by every choral leader you know. So can we work together to get back to better modeling for our students? (Goodness knows, high school students are already wearing this armor, too.)
Questions
How can you model and communicate with your students “how we distinguish between perfectionism from healthy striving for excellence?” (80)
What armor are you most likely to pick up when you’re in front of a choral rehearsal? What would have to change for you to put down that armor?
“Hierarchy can work, except when those in leadership positions hold power over others.” (96) Can you think of power over organizations in the education world? How does your choral leadership approach distribute power?
“Let’s paint done.” (101) How might you use this phrase in approaching a choral rehearsal process so that your singers feel empowered to create together?
There are two more chapters in this section of Dare to Lead focusing on ideas of vulnerability and trust, and they offer many more insights valuable to choral leaders. I’ll publish my reflections on Section 4, “Shame and Empathy” on Monday, July 8.