Wooden Wednesdays: Friendship

Note: this is the third of a series of posts investigating the leadership style of John Wooden and its applicability to choral music education.

John Wooden’s third block in the base of his Pyramid of Success is FRIENDSHIP.

Wooden says, “Respect, esteem, and camaraderie are characteristics of Friendship necessary for a high-performance team.”

He adds, “Think of how much you’ll do when asked to do so by someone you respect.”

Wooden notes that there are many kinds of friendship, but for our purposes we’re really focusing on two.

  • Camaraderie – the friendship that comes to teammates through shared experiences in proximity.
  • Friendship between the team and their leader.

These are different and must both be a part of the path to success.

We build camaraderie throughout a choral year–it’s the team building games we start the year with, it’s the struggle of sight reading, the sectionals, the daily work together building trust.

Friendship between team & leader, though: this is fraught and often frightening for some leaders. There are those in athletics and in music who want to rule autocratically. “I’m the leader, do it my way or get screamed at.”

Wooden wasn’t that kind of leader, and he didn’t want to be. He understood that the friendship that develops from respect is far more powerful than the power of autocracy. It’s harder to build, but it pays dividends in the camaraderie and all that can be accomplished through it.

It’s our job to create a place where the camaraderie can be nurtured and sustained.

 

 

Use your team-building games. Give students time to really know each other–especially time when you aren’t around. Sectionals can be as much about camaraderie as musicality. Or plan a post-performance ice cream run, and then duck out at the last second. Empower them to become a team.

To build mutual respect, you must A) show your respect for them as humans and B) earn their respect with fair dealing, preparation, knowledge, commitment. Consistency in those things will slowly create the bond you need to underscore all you do together.

John Wooden is right: the best ensembles I’ve ever worked with are the ones where the singers were friends outside of rehearsal. My biggest challenges have come when the choir members didn’t know each other. When I failed to give them the tools and the time to become friends, their progress stagnated.

Encourage, empower, and expect your singers to be friends. It will pay precious dividends in their progress.